Conveniently, that option is now available at the mall. Who knew?
Today's New Activity: Blast-of-Light Teeth Whitening
I thought seeking legal advice while stopping for a cup of coffee qualified as a pretty out-there impulse buy. Stopping for a teeth whitening while browsing at the mall may just rival it though.
There I was, walking along with no particular objective in mind (it's so nice to be working at a job which allows me to enjoy Sundays as they were meant to be enjoyed), when I came upon this floating-in-the-middle-of-nowhere mall mini-shop.
I just have to pause for a moment here to share what's written in fine print under the words "spaWHITE" It says "The science of light. The art of beauty," which is lame on so many levels I'll allow you to explore them in your own mind and on your own time, in lieu of expounding on them here.
Anyway, I normally--like everybody--welcome conversation with the salesfolk standing outside those floating mall kiosks like I welcome the idea of giving Donald Rumsfeld a private lap dance, but the thing is that I've actually been in the *market* for a teeth whitening. How incredibly convenient to get it done while chillin' at the mall!
The selling point was that the original price she quoted me was exactly $50 cheaper than it would have cost at my dentist (like I said, I've been in the market), and then, when I hesitated, she mentioned that there was a 20% discount for people who don't live in San Jose (which I don't anymore). Sold!
The main catch is that you have to sit in the middle of the mall looking like this for 25 minutes
a factor definitely worthy of serious consideration. To play it cool, I sat there playing Angry Birds on my phone, pretending like I was getting light-blasted in the mouth in the comfort of my own home, like I'm liable to do on any other Sunday afternoon. Anyway I'd say it's worth it. Annnnddddd, I'd say, DAMN my nose looks big in that picture!
As of now it's a nice white...a marked improvement from before, but without having that freaky, so-white-they're-almost-blue newscaster look. The whitening girl did mention, however, that they will get a little whiter in the next couple of days, so I'm gonna have to monitor the situation before I give a real confident recommendation. For now though, and I'm suspecting it will be my final answer...I thought the convenience and the finished result were well worth the cost.
Good lord, I think they'd have to pay ME to sit in the middle of a mall for twenty-five minutes anyway, what with my agoraphobia, but with a weirdly glowing death-laser aimed at my head? I adore Angry Birds, but I think I'd need them there, LIVE. My sombrero is off to you. So send me a FB note with a ballpark figure, because as soon as these braces come off, I'm heading for my---dentist!
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