Making More Room for Creativity...

Before I went back to school to once-and-for-all finish my bachelor's degree, and continuing for the next 4 years or so, my life was full up with creative people.  I was living, at times, with my friends Kelsi and Nicole--a musician and an artist, and later moved in with another roommate, also a musician and founder of her own record label.  There were always musicians and artists hanging around or passing through our homes.


And much of that time, I was completely immersed in the English Department at SJSU, which had recently begun to offer an MFA in Creative Writing, so there was a great deal of writing going on there.  During those years I attended literary readings, plays, local artists' and musicians' shows, and open mics.  And surrounded by all those people's dedication to their respective arts, I found it pretty natural to remain, often, inspired myself.  It was a really nice period of my life and one I've missed from time to time.


There were also times when I convinced myself that the last thing I needed to do was to surround myself again with more dreamers like myself.  The thing about people who are drawn to the Arts and Humanities is that they really can talk a WHOLE lot of bullshit.  We could bullshit and dream and speculate and weave saucy tales all day long, live on subsistance salaries, pray/eek/grit our ways through every month's bills and stop so long to smell the roses, then talk/write/paint about the roses that we don't even notice when they've dried up and winter's come.


What I really needed was balance.  I needed to move forward with my adult life and career, yes.  But I took it a bit too far and decided to nix the creative elements (and people) from my life entirely.  In recent months, I've been happy for any opportunities to welcome inspiration back in.


Which is how I ended up at Rosie McCann's with Kelsi Monday night.  I learned (thank you, Facebook) that the band of an old acquaintance of ours from my carefree college years (who used to play at an open mic we frequented) was playing down there, and I thought going would be a nice way to close out the holiday celebrations.


So Timeless, Jonah Johnson's project, is nothing if not inspiring.  The group (a revolving kind of collective comprised of Jonah, his sister, and a gang of talented musicians including a brass section) is so full of positive, uplifting energy that even an overcrowded dance floor of people at snooty-ass Santana Row couldn't help but smile and be nice to each other.  It probably helps that most of those folks were lured there by So Timeless itself, which tends to attract other positive people, believers in what you put out there coming back to you.


It was really nice to be there with Kelsi, too.  I love going to hear music with her because we can dance and talk, but also just listen together, appreciating specific instruments or beats or whatever.  The highlight of the night as far as music goes may have been this hip-hop/jazz/soul/r&b group's take on The Cure's "I Will Always Love You," which I really wish I had a recording of.


The highlight of the night apart from the music was the simple act of remembering that creativity and inspiration are ALWAYS there when you are ready to embrace them.  I used to associate those days of readings and concerts and the open mic where we met Jonah and bullshitting about all of the above with my youth, time-capsuled off and traded in for more responsible endeavors.  But that thought itself is bullshit.  I want to live the rest of my life surrounded by inspiring people who aim to put something new out into the world.


We can't all be that way, for sure.  Some people were born to appreciate the art that's put into the world and not necessarily create it (sometimes I feel I belong in that category), but surrounding myself with creators enriches even the act of appreciating those creations.  When I see the people behind the efforts, learn about what inspires and drives them, and sometimes even get to witness the creating, I think I am more open, less critical; I see and hear things I may not have otherwise.


That also makes me more forgiving of my own efforts and more able to just start.  Just START something to see where it may go.  When I'm closed off and critical, I'm fearful of even the starting.


So I offer up a toast to Monday's outing, and Kelsi and I have pledged to do these sorts of things more often together--to take our minds off the concerns of parenting and (in her case) marriage for a spell and get back into the realm of creativity.  I'm beginning to believe that--if there is anything real about the concept of a Fountain of Youth, the realm of creativity is where it dwells...


Here's a really sweet So Timeless song as a parting gift (gotta wonder why the horns are here when I don't actually hear any in the song, but they are usually actually *playing*, hahaha) :)

The GGA Project -- Day #322 "And Speaking of Challenges..."

A couple of months ago, my friends Kenneth and Peter signed up for something called the Warrior Dash and then (as they are like to do) immediately set about trying to strong arm everyone they know into doing it too.  I was kind of an easy sell at that point, as I have been the entire year because of this project (and hope to be going forward).  I just got the text "sign up for Warrior Dash," maybe a link to the website on Facebook, did a few clicks around on the site, and was signed up within 10 minutes or so.


That was the easy part.


When I told my Dad about the event, he also went to the website, did far more reading and clicking around than I'd done, and came back saying "No way, Jose."  This surprised (and alarmed) me.  My Dad is in great physical shape and challenges himself in that area on a weekly basis.  If he was intimidated by the prospect, what on earth was I thinking?!?!


As the weeks went by, I had occasion to mention that I'd be Warrior Dashing perhaps 3 times.  And every time, a split second shock crossed the face of the person I was talking to, followed with, "really?!" or "you?!"  I don't think it should come as too much a shock, then, that I was pretty nervous heading into 


Today's New Activity: The Warrior Dash!!


When we got to the event grounds (Casa de Fruta, down in the dusties of Gilroy), I felt an immediate sense of relief.  While I didn't exactly see any super out of shape people there, it definitely wasn't an iron man only kind of thing.  And there were minors there as well...how scary could the thing be?


I'd brought Monkey with me so that I wouldn't have to spend the whole day away from him (the event was 1 1/2 drive from my house), and his Auntie Kelsi, who lives relatively close in Morgan Hill, was generous enough to come and scoop him up for a couple of hours.  It was nice to know he was nearby--playing with Mo on the train and carousel at Case de Fruta--having fun while I "competed."


The only bummer about the event is that, in an effort to space people out, each heat starts with 1.5 miles of running.  I hate running.  I absolutely HATE running.  And I suck at it.  So I didn't exactly feel like a warrior, having to walk a good part of that.  But Kenneth and Linda were there with me while Peter, Jeanette and Jon ran ahead, so it was nice to be in good company.


And then the obstacles came, which was the real fun part :)


There were 11 or 12 total I think, and here's a sampling:

This wall was probably the most terrifying to me, because I've never been great with upper body strength, and once you got started you were pretty much committed to either making your way over or having a real unpleasant fall back down, haha.  The top was the most difficult, figuring out how to get all the way over the wall once you ran out of rope.  But I made it.  Actually, in that difficult part when I was a little worried I wouldn't be able to pull myself over, I thought of Monkey, reminded myself that I have a son who looks to me as his example (not that he was there watching, but still I knew), and found that extra bit of effort within.  That was a pretty cool experience.


The last two obstacles were two little mounds of flames to jump through followed by a big trough of mud to slug through, leaving us coming out looking like this:

To help us all get home without ruining our cars, they'd set up a giant firehouse for us all to splash around in and get as clean as we could.


After a quick change of clothes I collected Monkey and sat down in the gravel with my fellow warriors while they ate giant turkey legs and I enjoyed probably the most hard fought veggie burger in the history of veggie burgers :)


It was such a great day.  I'm so happy I had the chance to join the fun and challenge myself a bit.  But I'd also like to say that I think most anybody could do this; they make it accessible enough.  So next year I'm bringing more warriors along for the fun!

The GGA Project -- Day #259 "Veggies, Non-Threatening"

Well this is just a quickie:


My friend Kelsi came over tonight to visit and so I could take some photos of her for her website (she recently became a licensed therapist and is in the throes of building her client base).  We relaxed in my backyard as the sun set.  I love that beautiful light.


She brought some leftovers from her son Mo's 3rd birthday party today, one of which I sampled for


Today's New Activity: Tasting Broccoli Pasta Salad


It was really just a taste, since it didn't exactly go with my cheese sandwich, rice and bean dinner, but it was very good.  I didn't get the recipe from her yet, but it's made from extremely thinly sliced broccoli stems, cabbage and carrots, sliced almonds, and uncooked rop ramen mixed in a light vinegairette.  Pretty yummy stuff!


It was also nice to catch up with Kelsi.  We were both childless for the night; it's rare we get the chance to talk without having tiny voices interrupting every few moments.  It was a very nice, peaceful evening.

The GGA Project -- Day #245 "After Hours"

As I've written before, on blog past and present, the San Jose Jazz Festival is kind of my thing.  I plan summer trips and work around it and would probably feel pretty damned sad if a year slipped by without my making it out.  But the jazz festival isn't all about the 10 stages featuring bands during the three days of music.  There are other events associated, most of which I usually skip.  Until this year, that is.

Today's New Activity: Jazz Festival After Hours Club Crawl

Since I had to work Saturday and couldn't get to the daytime stages, I finally decided it was time to check out the music that happens after the afternoon sun has left festival-goers in a super tired, super happy, super mellow state of wide-open listening.

The best thing about this 12-club/restaurant/bar event is that none of the establishments charge covers, so you are free to wander into and out of all of them, searching for the vibe that fits your mood.

I met Kelsi down there.  She'd gotten there earlier than me and set off first to see our friend Jonah's band play at The Temple Bar.  I love So Timeless, but they are more of a funk band and I was in the mood for straight-ahead jazz, which we found in good working order at Mosaic, a nice, classy restaurant/bar inside of the Four Points hotel.  The Jazz Mechanics was a three-member group made up of a keyboardist, bassist, and drummer, and they were amazing.  During their break we caught up on girl (or woman, rather) talk, and halfway into their second set we headed off to see what else was what.  I kind of wish we would have just stayed in that spot, because it was my favorite of the three we went to, but what's a club crawl without at least a little bit of crawling?

The band playing at Los Gatos Brewing Company was a little lounge-y for us, so we left there in short order and set out for The Fairmont Hotel where, inside the lobby, a swirling mass of folks had gathered around the r&b cover band, trying to eek out a last bit of soulful groove before, I imagine, retiring to their hotel rooms to make sweet love :P

I've never seen that place (normally a bit on the stuffy side) so crowded or so alive.  It was a great way to close out the evening before heading to Nicole's, where I'd spend tonight in order to wake up within walking distance of the festival bright and early tomorrow...

The GGA Project -- Day #242 "Schooled"

Today was a beautiful day for


Today's New Activity: Chillin' with the Gals at The Fountain


Nicole--because she lives within walking distance of it--often takes Maya and Sureya for picnic lunches near a fountain at San Jose State University.  She's described how nice it is to have a wide-open patch of grass where they can play while she does her art journaling.  I've been wanting to go with them for a while now and just finally had the chance today.  Oh man, what a relaxing way to spend an afternoon.


Kelsi and the boys met up with us on the way over, and we made a three-Mama, five-child stroller brigade through the forever-under-construction-and-renovation campus, sparsely populated this time of summer, with just a few hints of professors returning for preparation and new student orientation tours parading through.


First we tried to cajole our children into eating, but soon they were off doing their thing--playing in the fountain, running and running and kicking a beach ball and running, and sitting and standing on Kelsi's double stroller while Maya, their constant mini-Mama companion pushed them up and down the wide sidewalks.

Apart from trying to keep them out of the way of slow-moving electric carts, passers-by on bicycles, and reversing-in, super loud cement trucks, Nika, Kels and I were all able to relax pretty well and catch up.


Late into the afternoon my son started to get antsy.  He was doing a fake whine that I rarely hear unless he's well overdue for a nap, so I figured it was time to take him for a stroll and see if he'd fall asleep.


I have to say that--while I love every chance to get together with my gals and talk as we've done for 20 years now--this 15-minute stroll was my favorite part of this particular day.  I always enjoy returning to the campus where I learned so much and found my stride, eight years ago now.  And I love seeing how it's constantly evolving.  Since I've graduated it's sprouted two new monuments, both of which I was happy to show to Monkey and give him a little history lesson at the same time.

This statue is a tribute to the hands-raised-in-protest overture made on the part of San Jose State alums Tommie Smith and John Carlos at the 1968 Summer Olympics in Mexico City.  We stopped nearby and I said to him, "this, my son, is called civil disobedience."  :)   I swear I did not prompt him to do what he did next:

Gotta love the bunny Pez dispenser in hand!


Next we wandered past more construction and on to a recently erected monument to another famous son of San Jose, Cesar Chavez.  A mosaic gateway depicts him, sister-in-United-Farm-Workers-movement Dolores Huerta, and everybody's favorite civil disobeyer Mohandas Gandhi.

Finally, we continued along a temporary fence put up to separate areas under construction, which had been covered with students' renditions of famous portraits.  Not bad!

I love having the opportunity to take my son to the places that hold meaning and memories for me.  And as much as it will change as the years pass, more buildings torn down and others built in their place, I hope it will always fill me with familiar joy and a distant or not-so-distant sense of pride to have been part of this campus and, thereby (however feebly) connected to all those who have made this lovely, big-small northern Californian city shine.


Hella.

The GGA Project -- Day #234 "The Cafe Formerly Known as..."

For months I have been trying to get to


Today's New Activity: Open Mic at Cafe Trieste, er, Cafe Something Else Now


A few months back, my newly discovered friends at Outpost SJ broke it down for me on the local open mics.  We collectively decided the vibe at Barefoot Coffee was less-than-friendly, and they told me that Philz had a cool but also perhaps cliquish feel to it.  The perfect open mic, it seemed, took place at Cafe Trieste, which changed names just this week and I can't remember the new name of it.  And you know, they were right about that.


Fittingly, I met my friend Kelsi there.  I say fittingly because she used to be my bosom buddy at Cafecito, the golden standard of open mics, where there was enough love to spoil all the orphans of the world and then some. I hyperbolize, of course.  But yes.  There was much love.


Cafe Trieste (formerly) had a similar feel to it.  There were a number of great musicians, and a SUPER talented beat boxer, and a couple of women with very nice voices.  And there was love there as well.  The listeners and performers were friendly and open, and I didn't get the sense that anybody there felt too cool for school.  Good thing, too, because I'm old now.  I can't stomach that sort of thing.


I didn't hear much in the way of spoken word (just the brief sharing of one journal entry from one woman), so I don't know if this would be a good place for me to share any writing, but maybe the variety would be welcomed.  We'll see.


The best thing was having the chance to connect with Kelsi after a month without seeing her.  We did a much-needed clearing of the air and came out better friends--yet-again--as a result.


I have to say that is one wonderful thing about old, enduring friendship.  I know I will always be friends with Kelsi.  So accordingly, I know we can weather any storm (or, in this case, minor drizzle) and come out stronger on the other end.  And I know she will always be exactly who she is--the person I long ago met, understood, and accepted.  It's good to really know somebody and know they really and truly know you back.  Front and back.  All around.


And I'm fully aware that it is my job alone to cajole her into singing again in front of the good folks at Cafe Trieste.  As her consummate fan and forever groupie, I miss her voice and the power she had as a performer--the power to truly grab an audience and hold them tightly in her grasp.  Just tell me when, Kels.  I'll be there in the front row...

The GGA Project -- Day #198 "Swimmin' Hole"

Text coming soon...

The GGA Project -- Day #186 "Proud Mama"

Summer is in the air.  Complaints about the heat from customers (who were complaining just last week about the rain and the cold) abound.  What else to do but


Today's New Activity: Visiting the Local Swimmin' Hole


A qualification: I've actually been to Ryland Park Pool in downtown San Jose once before.  I've even been there with Monkey.  But that was a whole year ago, in the days before he could speak or even crawl, so he didn't appear to care much at all about what it was we did.  He was just along for the ride.


In recent days my boy has begun to show exuberance about things he didn't much notice before (say the word "ball" and he goes nuts.  I'm pretty sure he could play at hitting and throwing the dozen or so variously sized balls he owns for the better part of a full day), while he shows caution doing things he didn't used to think twice about (my Dad told me that when he and Bro took Monkey to the playground on Monday, he didn't want to go down the slide).


So while I wasn't sure how he would take to the water, I was eager to find out.  My best gal Nicole found a summer to-do list she's eager to start crossing off with the kiddies, and we were so happy to join her and the girls, along with Kelsi and the boys, for the first of many sun and fun activities.


The only bummer about this pool is that the kids aren't allowed to have any inflatable floaty things.  The lifeguard said they don't want the devices popping when the kids are unsupervised.  My thought on that is that the kids shouldn't be unsupervised at all.  This is a giant, circular pool that's about 2 feet deep all the way around and 3 feet at its deepest, in the middle.  I'm pretty sure only the smallest of kids really go there, whose parents are hovering like all good parents should be.  But anyway, that meant no arm floaties.


At first I put one of the life jackets they had at the pool on my boy, but he didn't seem to like the giant orange puff surrounding his face or the feeling of floating without support.  So for the first half hour at least I held him while he clung on like a frightened kitty.  Any time I held him up away from my body he would get nervous and want to be tucked in at my side again.  I was starting to feel sad, thinking his love of the bath and all other type of water play was not translating to this actual body of water.  Having wanted to spend a good amount of time at the pool near my own house this summer, this thought had me bummed for sure.


But then I reasoned that it's pretty natural to be freaked out by this new experience, and I decided to stick it out with him rather than giving up and going to play at the playground.


And with time, he got comfortable and started having fun.  Once he was distracted by a ball (big surprise) that Nicole had brought, he started walking along in the shallow parts on his own, chasing after it.  Soon he was playing a throw and fetch game with Maya, Nicole's 8-year-old daughter (he threw, she fetched) and splashing around like nobody's business.


I have to say I was nothing short of thrilled about this outcome.  It was a reminder to me that it is sometimes a very good thing to be pushed outside of one's comfort zone.  Of course if my son had been absolutely terrified and in tears I would have proceeded more cautiously, taking him out of the pool and trying to reintroduce him later.  But there was a moment when I was thinking of doing this anyway, when I saw he was scared and not enjoying himself.  And the thought of our big fun afternoon plans being dashed was a major bummer.  So when I saw that I could keep him in the water, gradually giving him a little more freedom while staying nearby to make sure he was comfortable and safe--and that he would actually start to have fun....well that was a proud and happy moment for me.


I was talking with Kelsi about this, because it was the same feeling I experienced when we went to the movies a couple of weeks ago and he started squirming about an hour in.  While we could have left at that moment, I--as a paying customer and having already a vested interest in the movie's conclusion--didn't want to.  In fact, I felt like I was the child in these scenarios, saying, "no no no, I don't wanna go!  Don't ruin my fun!"  But I think that in the end it was good.  Monkey ended up relaxing and having fun in both instances, and I didn't end up with the resentful feeling of having given in to a toddler's whims.


Now, I know there are times when, as parents, we have no choice but to act as the situation dictates; sometimes that absolutely means giving in to the whims of the child.  And if my son were truly having a terrible time I would never want to torture him.  Similarly when a child is due for a nap and cranky as a result, it's only right to get his or her needs met, even if it conflicts with original plans.  But I also think there is something to be said (for the sanity it affords us alone--long-term if not immediately experienced) for letting the kids know through our actions that we are the ones with the plans and they are joining us for the time being.  Maybe this is somewhat fear-based: I'm afraid that if I change plans every time he's mildly displeased I'll never feel confident in my role as the one calling the proverbial shots.  But the other option would also be fear-based: I'd be afraid my child did not have the strength of spirit to weather discomfort and trust in my plans for us.  In short, I'd be afraid he'd throw a tantrum and really kill our buzz.  And I think I'll take the former any day.  I think it'll serve us both better in the long run.


Monkey is still very young, our experience very limited, and this theory yet to be challenged by the legendarily terrible twos, but I'm keeping the faith.


And...I'm so happy to have spent the day with my gals and their munchkins.  It's wonderful to see how they're all growing and developing together.  Max, the youngest among them, was sitting up on his own today (!), the brave and spunky Sureya and the Monkey have started communicating with each other (see below), Mo is the talkingest, most observant little guy you've ever met, and Maya is the ever-patient honorary big sis to them all--they all love her.  We are so lucky to have these chosen families to share the learning with :)



I had to post this sequence, as a sidenote:

Here Sureya is trying to help Monkey up (grunting sounds to prove it!  Awww, and she was even saying "come on, Chupi" (his nickname)).  She is such an adept little climber.  He's a little bulkier and clumsier at this point, but she's always game to help him along.  So sweet!

The GGA Project -- Day #174 "Now THAT's What I'm Talkin' About!"

Ahh.  Where to begin talking about


Today's New Activity: Attending the 4th SubZERO Festival


?


A while back I got wind of the SubZERO festival (which I somehow missed during both years when I was living--quite literally--around the corner from where it happened.  I don't know how the funky good vibe alone didn't have me wandering out my front door to find its source), and I've been looking forward to it for weeks.  How thankful I am to report that it didn't go the way of so many of San Jose's outdoor festivals and leave a little to be desired.  How could it with all this action?!

I couldn't get enough of watching this very talented foursome of belly dancers.  I generally love watching belly dancing, and tonight was no exception.  I managed to make it over their way during 4 separate mini-sets.  The drums they danced to were a calling I couldn't refuse.

Next I wandered over to one of the stages, where, for most definitely the first time in my life, I got to hear what happens when hip hop meets the trombone.  This band was just formed last week some time (there was also a female vocalist who isn't pictured here) but you wouldn't have known it with how good they sounded together.

Next, a visit to a traveling curios museum, a mini-version of which was housed in one of the many tents set up on South 1st street, which was blocked off for the festival:

Also among those tents:

a giant cardboard dollhouse with real scenes visible through every window!,

a station where stoppers-by could sit and draw models who switched out in what seemed like five-minute intervals, though some could have been longer (peek and you can see my friend Laura in the second row, doin' her art thang!...she's so cool...).

One stage featured an interpretive dance troupe that was covered in artful, very detailed body paint, and the body paint artist demoed her work live during one band's performance later in the night.  It's too bad all the details can't be made out from the pictures, but this is something of a before and after:

There were food trucks galore.  And though I longed to try the raved-about munchies from Gomo, they (and two other food trucks) were out of their only vegetarian options.  I found my friends Alejandra and Kliff during the food hunt portion of the night, and they both made off with yummy treats.  Hey guys!  It was great to do some catching up with them.  And congrats to Alex on her recent graduation!!

I SO meant to stop by the t-shirt tent of the guys who made Kliff's "Hella" t-shirt so I could finally count myself a bona fida Nor*Cal girl, but I forgot :(  I'll find 'em online.


Music and art were the main focuses of this event, and though I didn't photograph any art for fear the artists would say, "Hey punk, if you like it so much, why don't you BUY it?" (not that they ever would, and not that I'd be opposed to it were it in my budget, but it seemed rude to just go around taking pictures), there was a whole lot of beautiful work to take in.


Around 10pm my best gals Nicole and Kelsi made it, to my shock and glee.  It's SO great to be out with those Mamas, especially in the streets of downtown San Jose, and especially at night.  It reminded me of our earliest adventures in this town, before Mamahood got its wonderful, forever grips on us.  We stopped for coffee and then meandered a bit, seeing:

Bam!  Roller derby demo!  And

Bam!  A yarn bombing!


This is just a very small sampling of all there was to enjoy.  There were art cars and taiko drums, another super fun and energy-filled drum circle, a bicycle joust (!), spoken word, and I even found the tent of one of my bank's customers, who turns out to be quite a talented painter.  And there was so much more.


In the end, Kelsi and I danced to the spinning of a local radio station dj, whose name eludes me right now.  The music was so incredibly happy it was impossible to resist.  I read an article in Details a few months ago about how so much of today's new bands are super happy and bubble gum.  The author was practically lamenting the absence of the angst of rock music past (though not the extreme Emo of more recent past).  I could see the truth in that, if the music this dj played was to serve as any kind of example.  But you know what.  It's freakin' FUN to be happy!!!


Some years ago I was dancing by myself at the salsa stage at San Jose's Jazz Festival.  A Mercury News photographer happened to take a crowd shot that I was visible in, looking as free and happy as a young woman who'd just graduated from college should look.  The picture appeared in the paper twice in articles about the festival.  Dancing tonight I felt the same kind of joy that I see in my face and body language whenever I come across that picture (which is actually only when I visit my brother, who has it pinned to his bulletin board...sweet bro).  My life is not without cares or problems.  And in the past year it is certainly not free from conflict, confusion, or the agonizing act of trying to decipher which is right, of the multiple directions from which to choose.  But in certain moments, and more and more frequently, I am full of that same sense of joy and wonder and absolute knowledge that my life--in the present--is the best possible life I could be living.


Thank you to all the wonderful, talented artists of San Jose and the friends I shared the evening with for bringing me into that place tonight.

The GGA Project -- Day #134 "The Hunt'"

Easter time last year was a little rough.  There was a lot of tension in the house, this being just two months before my separation, and I don't remember being able to enjoy the secular fun that could otherwise be eeked out of the holiday.  My parents hid a few eggs and gave a basket to the baby, but I didn't do anything for him.  I rationalized that he was too young to understand and enjoy (and in a way he was....he wasn't even walking yet, showed little reaction to any toy, and every egg had to be shown and handed to him), but really I just was no longer comfortable celebrating holidays together with both my parents and my ex.  I'm pretty sure this sentiment was also echoed by everyone else in the house.  It's hard to explain this dynamic, but that's where I was at this time last year.


This year was totally different.  Though I'm not religious and don't celebrate Easter in the Christian sense, I appreciate it for all its secular traditions in the same way I do Christmas.


This year I perused the seasonal aisles at Target at least three times and was super excited to pick out the toys for Monkey's basket that I thought he'd like.


Today's New Activity: Playing Easter Bunny


I don't think it can be overstated: the extent to which a person's outlook on a holiday changes when she becomes a parent.  Though it's always felt good to give gifts, no gift given in my past has compared to the feeling of joy associated with preparing to give gifts to my son.  Last Friday night I got his basket all filled up and wrapped in cellophane, and I found myself smiling this super-cheesed smile the entire time, just anticipating his reactions.

Here are *both* of his baskets, one from Mama Bunny and one from Nana & Poppy (which was actually filled with stuff for both him and me--I love that my parents still give me little gifts for these occasion...it's so sweet and just shows that you really never stop being parents and enjoying these moments as such).  Lucky both of us!


After he'd opened the easy stuff, he went on a little hunt for eggs in the living room, some of which were filled with sweet treats, some with Hot Wheels.

Found one!


And he was such a little boy with the cars!  I just can't believe how big he's getting, and how much he is like a boy and not a baby any more.  He was zooming those cars all around and making the zooming sound effects too.  As much as it's hard to watch him outgrow all the baby stuff, I'm ridiculously proud of his development and the thoughtful little boy he's becoming.


After the fun at our house, we joined Kelsi and family for an outdoor egg hunt at their house, where Monkey found a bunch of eggs and ate every single cracker or cookie in each as he went, as if he hadn't eaten in weeks.

I'm very happy about his robust appetite lately as I think we're through the teething/not eating phase completely.  I also think it means he's going through another growth spurt.  Watch out!


And finally, when all the hunting and nomming was through, he had his first crack at t-ball.

Seriously!  Where did my baby go?!?!


Don't worry about me.  I'll get over it ;)


I'm so pleased to have had this beautiful day to celebrate with friends and family, and to watch my son smile and squeal with joy.  That was the real Easter blessing, in my book.

The GGA Project -- Day #127 "Room for Art"

My parents recently decided they wanted to switch the room currently used as an office with the bedroom I share with Monkey.  So with the baby out with his Dad today, we spent a full 8 hours moving a whole lot of furniture and odds and ends from one side of the house to the other.  After all that, it's still not done and there's tons of finding of proper places for things still left to be done.


But, I did manage to get the major framework of our new room set up, Monkey's crib reassembled (thanks Dad), and a place set up for me to sleep until we have the assistance needed to move the Murphy bed I sleep on, sometime later this week.


When all the big stuff was done, I had time to assemble and set up a table I'd found last week at Michael's, which I'd bought with the sole intention of making space in my room--and more space in my life--for art.  I've had a lot of fun getting together with my best gals Nicole and Kelsi lately and creating whatever comes to mind for the day.


I thought it would be wonderful to carve out time to do this in my every day life, but there wasn't really a place for it in the house.  The idea of lugging out a bunch of materials every time I got the urge to make something was not appealing, especially since it doesn't fit well with my Mom's love of keeping the house in mint condition, which I alluded to last week ;)


Luckily, the new room we'll be inhabiting is a good bit bigger than the other, which left plenty of room for my new table, which turned from this 

into this 

in the span of an hour and a half or so.  And it also left time for me to put together a table I'd bought for Monkey for the same purpose.


Today's New Activity: Setting Up Monkey/Mama Creative Space


The baby really took to some washable markers and crayons my Mom bought after our first coloring adventures a few months ago.  But I didn't have any suitable place for him to play with those things, on his own level.  I found a good table for him at IKEA last week though, which was the last thing I set up before I went to pick him up.  So when he came home this evening, not only was the whole house different than when he left it, there was a brand new piece of furniture, all for him.


He sat down straight away and started coloring (and to my shock he was putting each crayon back into their little cup before he grabbed the next one).  Such a big boy!

My dream is that he'll sit there, just like that doing his thing, while I sit at my table next to him, doing mine.  And I'm just super happy to have made this a priority.  Now I can write my blogs at the desk once Monkey is asleep, and I can work on any other thing I want to without having to try and tune out whatever's on the t.v. (I notice my blogs rarely make much sense when I try and write them with the t.v. on, and it takes me three times as long to write the nonsensicalness).

And I'm so excited to see what both of us will make :)

The GGA Project -- Day #126 "The Setup"

Coming soon.

Well, pretty soon anyway.


Days later...One week and four days later to be exact...


Well.  It would seem I've been sitting on this post for quite some time.  I'd been almost religious in my devotion to getting blogs written within a day of the new activity's occurrence, but this one eluded me. It wasn't that I didn't have the time to write about the activity; I just wasn't sure what/how much I wanted to say.


Maybe I'm still not.


See, originally I'd had it all planned out that I'd write about checking out the dueling piano action at Los Gatos Brewing Company in downtown San Jose.  But as it turned out I wasn't even inside that restaurant long enough to say anything of substance about the experience.  So I was left with the option to write about what the real subject at hand was after all, which I'd been somewhat opposed to doing.


Today's New Activity: Being Sent (Brought) on a Blind Date


For probably two months now, my friend Kelsi, on behalf of her and my friend Jeff--her husband--has been telling me about a friend of theirs they wanted to set me up with.  They think they are somehow qualified to do this just because the last couple they set up got married last year.


Whatever.


At first I resisted on principle alone: I've never been set up with anybody and didn't think I liked the idea of it.


Then I resisted on more specific grounds.  I don't feel ready to start dating, and heavens-to-Betsy, though I've been separated for 10 months, my divorce is not final and that made this seem like a less-than-optimal time to start dating.


Then I resisted out of sheer nervousness at the idea of getting back out there, and doubt about the viability of this particular match.   The guy they wanted to set me up with was a few years younger than me, never married, and already dating a couple of women...not likely itching to embark on the kind of journey that dating me--at this moment in my life-- would be.  How to open this introduction?  "So, I hear you've got a not-quite-divorced, single Mom fetish.  Well buddy, you're in luck." (finishing with a wink).  Yeah.


Finally, I agreed to meet with Kelsi, Jeff, and the man-boy in question together for a night out, if mostly just to satisfy a curiosity: what kind of guy did they think was perfect for me?  They kept saying our senses of humor were good matches, and Kelsi assured me he was nerdy cute.  That's not a lot to go on, but a good start.  I like jokes.  I like nerdy cute.


The biggest downside to the whole prospect was that both parties knew our friends were attempting to set us up.  There was no way to casually pull this meeting off as a casual meeting.  It was a meeting with a very specific, pretty high-pressure purpose, and it was bound to affect the interaction all the way around.


Enter my try-new-things project.  It was time to suck it up.


Jeff and Kelsi did a fantastic job of ensuring the hangout went about as awkwardly as it could have gone while also attempting to mitigate that awkwardness as well they could.  We met at the restaurant where the dueling pianos were in full swing.  And we could have probably stayed there a while and eased into the night by mutually taking in this show of sorts.  But instead we went outside to the near-empty patio, where there was nothing to be done but to fill the space with the sounds of our own voices.  There was no buffer zone.


So Kelsi, always one to foster group conversation, took the first pregnant pause in conversation to say, "So, is this awkward enough for everybody?"  That was actually fine.  No problem stating the obvious.  It's a good idea.


But then, she took the next extended silence as her opportunity to say, "So ________, _______ is working on a project that she's blogging about.  Why don't you tell us about it, _______?"


Whoah.  Deer in the headlights.  What could I do but lean over, sideways hug her, and tell her how much I love her for her efforts.  It's tough to share personal information with a stranger on a prompt.


Jeff wasn't much better.  It happens that the date and I work for the same company.  So Jeff said, "Hey _______, ________ also works for _________."  In Jeff's defense, he definitely said this tongue-in-cheek, but it was still goofy.  "REAlly?!" I exclaimed.  "This is the very first I've heard of this."


At least we could laugh at the situation.  More opportunities arose when Jeff asked his buddy, "So _______, how old do you think _______ is?"  And then asked me, "So _________, how much do you think ________ weighs?"  You'd think all this pointing out of the awkward would have made the situation less so.


It didn't.


Eye contact was difficult to establish (from my end, it felt like too much pressure...too hard to speak directly to him when I knew K and J were watching and hoping to see sparks).  Also, we didn't seem able to land on a topic we could all connect on...not in this first meeting anyway.  There just ended up being a number of little side conversations.


All got more mellow and went more smoothly after Kelsi and Jeff left on account of needing to get their boys back from the babysitter, but that was a brief period because I had to get home in time for when my own baby would surely wake up in the middle of the night.


This about it felt good: it felt good to be able to say that to him, that I needed to get home to my baby, without any hesitation about how that truth would affect the outcome of the date...good to be comfortable in my own skin and in the skin of my life.


It also felt good to be able to walk away from that date and not give a lot of thought about how it went, what he thought of me, whether or not I'd be hearing from him.  I used to care too much about those things.  And not only can I not afford to anymore because I've got tinier fish to fry, I feel much more inclined to focus on the question of whether or not I liked him, if I focus on any part of it at all.


Still, it was a fun night and I am thankful to Kelsi and Jeff for dragging me out.  It made me feel alive to be out on a Saturday night with a young, single person, in downtown San Jose, which was teeming with Sharks fans just out of a game.


The reason I was so hesitant to write about the night was that I have never, in my 9 (!) years of blogging, written about my romantic life (apart from announcing my wedding, when it happened) and I don't plan to start now.  That is one part of my life I don't like to share.  I've never been a kiss-and-teller (maybe years later, but not in the thick of it!), and I would not want any aspect of my dating life to be affected by the idea that I may or may not write about it later.  So writing about this night was a first and a last.  It seemed a first blind date was pretty worth telling a bit about for the purpose of this project, and it's out of my system.


Happy lovin' to y'all :)

The GGA Project -- Day #112 "Floppyhatville"

One of the things I've loved about this project has been exploring the areas I thought I knew.  And today I got to know my former home city of San Jose a little bit better.  My best gal Kelsi had invited me to join her in checking out the annual fundraiser for the Master Gardeners of Santa Clara County.


Today's New Activity: Visiting the Gardener's Market


This was the coolest thing.  It was basically just a place for people to pick up starter plants for their garden (mostly tomatoes and peppers for some reason), and there were about a drillion different varieties to choose from.


I felt a little out-of-place among the market-goers, who were a predictable bunch of fifty-and sixty-somethings, definite NPR devotees in canvas hats, carrying reusable Trader Joe's bags.  Ok so basically that IS me, but I'm a younger version.  Also, I am firmly anti-A Prarie Home Companion, which I'm almost positive would be a unique stance among today's crowd.


Anyway, the sun was out, the people were friendly and helpful, and the available plants could be had for a steal .  Unfortunately we got there a little too late to get in on any tomato action, but there were plenty of peppers, each with its own little Hot or Not-type verdict--a rating from 0-10 in hotness listed on a sign above the variety, along with the pepper's characteristics and country of origin.

I ended up choosing three varieties of peppers, along with some French lavender, an ornamental pumpkin plant, and a flower called a "firework," in honor of the Katy Perry song my Ma's been singing to the baby  :)


The market took place at History San Jose, an outdoor museum of sorts that houses the historical Victorian homes moved from downtown San Jose to make room for the new City Hall.  It was fun to walk around there and see hints of a bunch of organizations I had no idea about, which were headquartered in the homes.  Poetry Center of San Jose was one I saw that I'd like to look into further, but really I could have spent the entire day there checking out organizations and reading about the history of the area, gardener's market or not.  I'll have to go back on a weekday, when everything is open.


Also, while Monkey and I were waiting for Kelsi to arrive, we visited the beautiful Japanese Friendship Garden, which is right there, along with Happy Hollow.

It's just all the way around a great place to take kids (even the minor league San Jose Giants' stadium is right across the street, along with an ice rink--a family could spend a week on those two blocks alone and not spend too much money in the process).  Monkey had a great time running around there, and little Max, Kelsi's son, was perfectly content to lie on the grass at the Botanical Garden after the market, just taking in the sun and making his baby noises.  It was a beautiful day, and I can't wait to get my little plants in their new homes :)