The GGA Project -- Day #357 "Sweet Accompaniment"

Tonight was my company's holiday dinner at Maggiano's (which, if you'll remember, was where I was just shy of a year ago, when I decided to start the GGA, or Great Gnocchi Awakening Project).  The dinner isn't always held at Maggiano's, but it went off so well last year as planned by one of my coworkers at my old branch that when my boss asked me to plan this year's dinner for this branch, Maggiano's seemed a good bed.


The upcoming dinner and the thought of getting dressy for it was what prompted the Biggest Loser Challenge we started a month ago.  Yeah...that didn't go so well.  The only person who lost more than a pound was my coworker Elias, who lost 17 of them!!  That's pretty awesome for one month's work.  The rest of us, sadly to say, actually gained about a pound each, hahaha.  My boss suggested that had we not been doing the challenge, the damage might have been worse over the Thanksgiving holiday, and that's probably true.  So I guess it's a success of sorts, especially for Elias, whose wife is pregnant and who wanted to get a little healthier in advance of his first child's arrival.


Anyway, weight loss or no, the talk around work over the past few days was about what we were all gonna wear.  The women were exited to dress up, and the guys went along with it.  Being a little spiffed up and all, I thought that--in ordering a drink with dinner--I should forego the very blue collar option of beer, which is pretty much the only alcohol I care to consume these days, aside from the occasional glass of wine, and go with a more, well, girly option.


Today's New Activity: Lemon Drop!


I didn't even know what a Lemon Drop was.  I'd just heard of it, and I must have seen somebody order it once because I knew there was sugar around the rim.  It looks like this (yanked this image off Google):

And it tastes just exactly how you'd expect something called a Lemon Drop with a sugary rim to taste.  Yummy.  Oh so girly.  It was fitting.


The dinner was a little awkward at the outset, since they put us in a room in the back and we were missing the (for me) welcome distraction of other people to watch and conversation to overhear.  But once the food started coming everyone loosened up a bit.  Mostly, it was just nice to be with coworkers and not have to be wearing our ill-fitting, synthetic material uniforms for once :)

The GGA Project -- Day #321 "Weighing In"

Somehow, a couple of days ago, these words escaped my mouth at work: "Hey, we should have a Biggest Loser challenge leading up to the Christmas dinner!"


I think what got me thinking about it was my coworker, who lost her mother in May following a long illness, and who simply, understandably, cannot be convinced to do anything remotely enjoyable.  While I wouldn't try to force her into pretending she's feeling anything other than what she truly feels, lately I've been trying to encourage her to do things she talks about having enjoyed before, like doing her eye makeup for example.  It's been nice to see her take little steps out of her sadness, if only in a "humor me" way for now.  I know that sometimes the "fake it til you make it" principle can start to work a little magic.


A few of us were talking the other day about getting a little dressy for our Christmas dinner in December, and she (actually a few of my coworkers) mentioned how nice it would be to lose some weight before then.  And it was that moment that gave birth to the idea.  Isn't it easier to get motivated to do so many things when you have a group of others to get excited about it and keep you accountable?


It took a little bit of convincing (mostly with my boss, who I think was waiting for everybody to tell her she didn't need to be part of the challenge, which she doesn't, in my opinion), but to my surprise, the ENTIRE branch decided to sign up.  Two of the young men who work there are going to do the competition in reverse (they are thin and looking to gain weight), but in the end it's the change in percentage of weight lost or gained at the end of a month's time that is going to determine the winner.  At $20/participant, the $220 pot will be a welcome little booster come Christmas gift shopping time.


Not everybody wanted their weight advertised, but none of us trusted each other enough to work on the honor system, haha, so I volunteered to bring my scale in and do weigh-ins, which we made happen today.


To my surprise, by the time I arrived mid-morning, everybody was ready and excited to weigh in.  Caught up in the moment, nobody even cared who was standing around when they got on the scale, and we were all pretty ready to get started losing.


Today's New Activity: Kicking off a Get-Healthy Challenge


I am typically one of those people who doesn't like to share my weight (like most women I suppose), and I definitely shy away from anything that asks me to consistently challenge myself when it comes to my physical health.  Yes, I go to the gym with some regularity and like to try and keep my weight in check, but I dislike the ideas of challenge and competition in these areas.  Weird, then, that this whole thing was my idea.


I was happy to find myself in with the majority, jumping on the scale in front of co-workers male and female alike and not being ashamed of what came up (160.4 pounds, for the record).  Yes, I wouldn't mind losing 10 more (hell, 5 more would take me to my high school weight, which I was pretty comfortable with), but I think I've absorbed some of the lessons of the past year in a way that translated farther and wider than I'd expected:


I do, in fact, accept myself exactly how I am.  I love myself and am so able to accept the love of those who love me as I am as well.  I also don't care as much about the whos and whys when it comes to people who don't love and accept me as I am.


And feeling this way makes my heart open wide and accept others exactly where they're at as well.  I want to encourage people to be their best and to do better than they ever thought they could.  If a little friendly branch-wide weight loss competition is what that means for the time being, for some of us, there it shall begin.


I could definitely use a little challenge in my life of the non-emotional variety.  I don't mind emotional challenge; it makes me feel that I'm truly alive.  But sometimes it's nice to get out of your head and your heart and just feel the power and essence of your physicality...to focus on how good it feels to be healthy in flesh and blood.  The next 4 weeks should be interesting...and at the end of them I will find myself exactly where I was (literally, since the dinner is again at Maggiano's) a year ago when I decided to start this project.  How nice it will be to feel healthy and pretty in my dress when that night comes :)

The GGA Project -- Day #188 "Vested Interest"

I was spoiled by the experience of working for Barnes & Noble.  I've mentioned before that I made a lot of friends there who are still a big part of my life.  It was amazing to me that a store that at times employed 55-70 people could make the machine run with so little drama or gossip.  I've worked at 9-employee outfits where managing the personnel was a bigger issue.  My friend Nessa, who is the longest-running BN employee I'm friends with and I have 62 friends in common, according to Facebook.  Now, this does include siblings and good friends of employees who were brought into the folds, but that makes it all that much better.  It really was--and in certain ways continues to be--one big, happy family.


It stands to reason that employment opportunities like that don't come along all the time.  And I certainly wouldn't advise working any kind of retail long term if you're looking to become wealthy or like the idea of having your weekends free.  The perks associated with working at the bookstore were more intrinsic than tangible, but there was a lot to be said for them.


First of all, people who work in bookstores like to read.  Duh.  The thing is, after so long working in the bookstore, it's easy to begin assuming that most people like to read.  But 5 minutes working elsewhere are enough to disabuse a former-employee of that notion.


Secondly, working at a place with so many employees (especially employees who are generally curious and informed) ensures a lot of interesting conversation.  And since there is such a wide variety of interests, which often get shared and adopted by others, the whole crew is somewhat well-rounded.  I know I sound like I'm waxing a bit nostalgic (and for certain I am), but I can honestly say that the difference between working at Barnes & Noble and working anywhere else I've worked has been stark.  I miss those days well and truly.


Since joining my new company, I haven't made any new friends.  In the beginning, I wasn't even interested in making new friends.  I was very sad about going back to work after having Monkey in the first place, and I was also stress-out about what was going on at home at the time.  I didn't even think about socializing with my co-workers, but I suspect that even if I had, I wouldn't have found much opportunity.  I'd yet to connect on any substantial level with any of my fellow employees save one, who was also going through a difficult marital situation.  But even that was a pretty surface-level connection.  I simply hadn't found anybody at work with similar interests or overlapping senses of humor.  Apparently the common denominator among people who work at banks--if any--is merely the necessity of having need and found a job.


When I transferred to my new branch (going on 3 months ago now) I breathed half a sigh of relief.  My managers were much more approachable and relaxed than any of those at my former branch, and the whole vibe in the branch was more friendly and customer service-oriented.  Already things were looking better.  We laugh a lot throughout the day, and I didn't find the level kind of stress and looking-over-of-shoulders that was so prevalent before.


Still, I'd yet to make a significant connection or have much of a desire to hang out with any coworkers outside of work.


Today's New Activity: One Step Closer to Friendship at Work


Two days ago we found out my Assistant Manager had been transferred to another branch, effective next week.  So we quick threw together a goodbye dinner for tonight to take place at BJ's right after work.  It was nice to see that everyone cared enough to show up, even the banker who was off for the day.  We had a nice time and sent my manager off fondly and with appreciation.


And the extra nice part was that the hangout extended beyond dinner.  It was just a beer and about 1 1/2 of talking, but it was a refreshing break from the corporate banking environment that typically casts its looming shadow over any interesting conversation that could be happening at work.  It was nice to laugh freely without worrying about stopping when the next customer appeared.  And it was also nice to be able to finally know a little something more about my coworkers' (real) lives.


Or maybe, it was just nice to be emotionally ready to care.


It's difficult to work day-by-day alongside people in whom you have invested very little time or emotional energy.  It's taxing to make small talk and keep up a work-appropriate front.  And though I know all that will continue during working hours, I liked getting a peek into my coworkers' interests and even just to know how they dress when they're not in the standard-issue work duds.


And while I don't think it's likely I'll make the kinds of friends at my current job that I made at the bookstore, I could definitely get used to tonight's new level of familiarity.

The GGA Project -- Day #163 "Act 3: The Lesson"

Well I've had a wonderful birthday weekend (I love that, stretching your birthday out into an entire weekend or week.  We used to tease my grandpa that he could somehow make his birthday last a whole month).  Today I had to face the music and return to work.  We are thoroughly understaffed, so there was no chance of getting the day off, but it was ok.


Actually, it was very sobering.


Today's New Activity: Birthday Perspective


Today was the first day back to work for a coworker who'd been on family leave.  During that time (the day after Mother's Day), this young woman's mother passed away after having spent the past year in and out of the hospital.  As unpleasant as it was to spend 9 hours at my job on my birthday, that unpleasantness paled in comparison to what my coworker was going through...the new reality she'd be coming to terms with, bit by bit, for some time to come no doubt.  The brevity of life message rang loud and clear to me on this day.


My coworker was doing fairly well, considering, but I know she's probably still somewhat in shock.  Also, she still has family in town, which is helping her feel connected and keeping her from ruminating on her loss (she shared this).  She is bound to have some very rough moments in the days and months and years to come.  I wish I knew her just a little bit better so that I felt I could have more to offer in friendship, but listening to somebody talk through these stages is certainly a way to get to know a person.  It can be difficult to know how to talk with people who've just lost a love one.  It can feel like a tainted, dirty secret of a subject, and it can feel like bringing it up with the mourning, emotionally fragile survivor might make something break.  But in my experience, just to have the chance to talk and know that there's a person out there who can bear to hear it can be a relief.  Sometimes it's EASIER to talk to quasi-strangers who are far enough from the situation themselves, emotionally.


Listening to my coworker (I'll call her Miriam) talk, watching her eyes well up with tears, I couldn't help but get emotional myself.  I was trying to fathom what it would be like to lose somebody as close as your mother and this point in life (she's my age or even a little younger).  And I hate to wax sentimental on my birthday (so trite), I have to say it gave me the perspective that one always hopes to have gained in the course of experiencing another year of life.  I'd say it was a beautiful gift.


to be continued...

The GGA Project -- Day #111 "Roll with It"

Unfortunately, or fortunately, they were running low on payroll hours at the bank where I work, and my choices were to transfer to a different, further away branch, or be out a job.  Um, jobs are good.  This is especially on my mind as I see dozens of unemployment checks every week, and while it's nice they're available to people, I'd rather not be receiving one myself.

So I decided to take the transfer, but I was not excited about it.  Not only was the idea of a longer commute unpleasant, I'd been to the new branch on one occasion and I found it to be small and strange.  Small as in nothing more that a room the size of a large public restroom (not that I'm comparing it to one, it just really is that small), and strange because I'm coming from a branch that just had 2-inch thick barrier glass installed on the teller line, going to a branch where the tellers literally stand at little podiums just 2 feet away from customers (a foot and a half, if they're close-talkers).

Today's New Activity: Intimate Banking

I can't say I loved the glass barrier setup at the branch I'm leaving.  It felt very impersonal, and by the end of a shift my throat would be sore from how loudly I had to talk just to communicate the most basic information to customers.  And forget about getting commissions from referrals after that glass went up--it just wasn't worth the trouble and the shouting.

Still, I think the glass is comforting when compared to the in-your-face banking that took place today.  Thankfully I didn't have any smelly folks at my little podium today.  My sense of smell is so strong that I can often smell the smelly folks even through the relatively small breaks in the glass at my old branch.  You know, I've work in a public/retail work environment for years, but never have I experienced so many Stinky McPoochilas as I have in working at a bank.  What IS that?  Well anyway, I didn't have to deal with any of that.  Also, in the brief 2 hours that I was actually working with customers and not signing for the receipt of keys or codes or all the whatnot regulatory stuff, I managed to already see three familiar faces from the old branch.  So that was a pleasant surprise and a little bit of familiar to ease the transition.

My coworkers had given me a nice send-off yesterday, complete with flowers and a pretty balloon and lunch from the neighboring BEST THAI FOOD RESTAURANT EVER (which I will now go out of my way to visit--try the Chu Chee Tofu, the spicy version...*Amazing*  I will be forever indebted to my friend Elizabeth for introducing me to it), and I was surprised at how sad I was to leave there.  I don't usually get emotional about leaving jobs, but a few of the people there have been wonderful spots of light through a difficult time, and I wasn't excited about undergoing a transition right now in the way that I normally am.  So it was especially nice to find my new coworkers welcoming and friendly, and a good bit more laid back than at my old branch (I guess having the recognized need for 2-inch thick barrier glass can leave people feeling a little on edge).


The commute will not be fun.  But hopefully the process of getting to know new coworkers and customers will be.  I've decided to just go along with it, be gratefully to be employed, and see what new adventures I can get into.  Oooooh, and there are plenty of new food options to explore, too ;)