Ah. Halloween. I woke up a bit early so I could have some nice time with Monkey before I had to leave for work. I dressed him up in his Garden Gnome costume for some pictures and to let him get used to the idea that he'd be wearing it for hours later on (he actually really liked wearing it and didn't even fight the hat/beard piece!). It was really so great to be excited about this Halloween and to see that excitement transfered to him. :)
My parents had a great time taking him to a couple of neighbors' houses and then to the mall for a trick-or-treating event. He got plenty of candy and then they swung by my work and had dinner at Rubio's nearby while waiting for me to get off. Then I had to spirit him over to Palo Alto to drop him off at his dad's. So I only got to take him to a few houses for some Mama/Gnome time, but it was worth it to see the sweet look on his face when he practically whispered "trick or treat," grabbed a single candy from the bowls overflowing with goodies, then whispered "thank you." Uh, these are the delicious moments of parenthood.
Anyway, by the time I dropped him off I was pretty hungry, and seeing few options between where I was at and the freeway, I stopped at a little wrap joint I'd considered checking out before.
Today's New Activity: Quick Munch at Rojoz
Rojoz is.... Rojoz is....
I don't know exactly what Rojoz is. I mean, it's a wrap place, and the options seem to be kind of all over the place, some sounding just like standard burritos, some having more of an Asian or Indian theme, even some Cajun action. But I thought I'd just go for it and I ordered a vegetarian wrap with curried potatoes and cabbage and, oddly, rice inside (which I didn't remember reading in the description and which was probably made stranger than it would have been by virtue of the fact that there was rice on the side as well).
And you know, I don't know. I think maybe curried potatoes are best left on their own rather than wrapped in things. I mean, I'm ALL FOR super carb/starch fests. It's actually kind of my thing. But maybe this combination of flavors was just odd.
The place itself was a bit odd. It was incredibly well-lit. And by "well" I mean "brightly." The fluorescents were near blinding. And the walls were lined with dozens of autographed headshots of stars. But they weren't signed to anybody, nor was Rojoz itself ever mentioned. It was clear none of these stars had ever been here; they just were...up on the wall.
I asked the owner where she was from and she said she was Chinese, and when I tried to make some more conversation just to kind of know where the idea for the place came from and how there came to be such a variety of options, she simply answered that they were "International.' Ok, good enough I guess.
After I ate I checked out the place on Yelp, and it had great reviews...4 stars with over 100 people weighing in. It made me think that I need to either try again, or that Yelp reviews just aren't all their cracked up to be.
That reminds me: I really enjoyed this article on the subject of reviewing: Rate this Article. And I'm kind of glad I didn't read all about Rojoz before deciding to try it out; my expectations might have been set too high if I had...
Recently I was talking with a friend about how anxiety-inducing it can be to mix groups of friends. I talked about how I originally wanted to invite everyone I knew to celebrate by birthday last May, but thought twice when I imagined what that scene would look like. I imaged somebody from one group eyeing somebody from a different group and coming to the conclusion that they didn't know me after all, if *this* was the sort of thing I was into.
The truth is that I'm into it all. And I have friends who have absolutely nothing in common but whose company can bring me equal amounts of joy. I think most of us are like that. And I think most of us do tend to avoid the chemistry experiment that would result from trying to combine the disparate groups.
Today's New Activity: Leap of an Invite
So over a month ago I was invited to join some friends for a Halloween gathering at their favorite dive Asian bar. Exactly one year ago come Halloween was the first time I'd seen this group of friends in years (at the same bar), and that's when most of them learned of my separation. I felt like it was an important kind of anniversary for me, and that I would very much like to return to the scene a year later and just see how different I felt.
Only recently I'd also decided that I'd like to celebrate Halloween with a different friend of mine. And I started to wonder how awkward it would be to simply invite the one to join the others. Thinking about it was really kind of stressing me out about it, such that I avoided making definite plans with either party.
Then, somehow...I got over it.
I just took the leap and decided to invite my friend--who, it turned out, was excited at the Asian dive bar prospect and the prospect of meeting others of my friends...that's a good start--to join in the long-planned other festivities. I realized that part of my rediscovery of self this past year has involved me accepting myself exactly as I am, and my own refusal to repeat the pattern that emerged in my marriage, wherein I bought into the idea that I was flawed and needed to make serious changes on a fundamental level. This acceptance involved accepting all the parts of myself...the parts that like all different sorts of people. I understand now that any friend of mine whom I could truly call a friend would be interested in knowing the people I know, even if they don't have anything in common except for their friendship with me.
I'm sure this sounds like pretty basic stuff for people who have long felt comfortable with exactly who they are, but it is serious headway for me. And to take this step is also a nod of acceptance to my friends themselves: I like you and accept you exactly as you are, and I'm happy to present you to others :)
I'd say that's a good thing for everyone involved...
