Posts from November 2013-November 2014 are part of The Manzanita Project, a joint effort of Kevin Wiseman and me. Each week, I write a post and he draws a sketch (unrelated). We're trying our hand at co-creation.
I thought I'd just snub the whole New Year/post-about-the-New-Year thing, since that would just be so unoriginal. But on the eve of a brand new year, what else could I be meditating on but the closing out of what has been an oft-challenging and trans-formative 365 days and the welcoming in of all things fresh, the chance to reboot? I feel I would somehow be remiss if I didn't pause for a moment, turn and curtsy to the good and bad of 2011 (and it's all good in the long run, isn't it?), and appreciate the sun's rising on 2012.
By the way, this is one of the images that comes up in a Google image search for "2012"
Uhhhh. Yeah.
So anyway, this is what I plan to focus on in the coming year (thought I'd better try to squeeze a little more out of this year if this is to be the last :P ):
~Make financial goals: living within my means and working to generate more income (god I hate that phrase--it's sounds so Rich Dad, Poor Dad (not that I've ever read that book so I really shouldn't judge), possibly even pay down some extra principle on my student loan.
~Continue Writing: the end of 2011 brings good news in that way, what with pieces written and actually submitted. I've finally grown the ovaries needed to start putting my stuff out there :)
~Potty-train Kalil: Ugh. Just the thought. How is a mom supposed to do this with a boy? I'll worry about the complications of making pee-pee with boy parts later, but we really need to start making headway with #2. So far all invitations to do a poopy on the Sesame Street potty chair I bought some time ago have been met with a polite but firm "no, thank you."
~Enjoy my second chance at single life. Of course single life is something different entirely when you're a mom. I certainly don't mean single life in the way I knew it before I got married, but now that I've known married life, I think I can appreciate single life in a different way. It's nice to again be able to explore all the things I want to do with my free time without having to come to a consensus on it with anyone else. When my free time is spent with Kalil, my choices are dictated by what is appropriate and what would be enjoyable for him (as is the case for every parent); it's a small but significant consolation that--when I have to be apart from him--I can spend the time how I choose. (I realize some married folks have mastered the ability to do this and be married at the same time, but I did not)
~Find a nice volunteer opportunity: It's been years since I volunteered anywhere, and talking with a friend yesterday got me thinking about it again. I think I can make a twice-monthly commitment these days; it would certainly be more interesting and rewarding than some of the time I waste online or doing other pointless things.
Um, I think that's a pretty good start. I can add to it a bit though: get reacquainted with my intuition, hear more live music, dance more, read more, exercise more, keep laughing, learn new recipes (and get Kalil to try them), take a real vacation to somewhere far away, learn some video editing, stay in touch, at least flip through all the magazines on my desk, get prints of and frame more pictures.
This isn't too much to ask in the course of a year, is it? It's nothing crazy (except maybe the faraway vacation), just requiring of extremely good time management (nooooooooooooo!).
And hey, this is what I wish for my son, myself, and you in the coming year: continued growth, peace in our hearts and minds, clarity like we've never known, and the exploration of happiness.
Here, let's toast to 2012 with the song nobody understands and which makes most of us want to cry:
I have never, ever been the kind of person to make New Year's Resolutions (hereafter referred to as NYRs). I used to have this high-and-mighty kind of spiel about it, along the lines of saying that the coming of a new year is, at best, an arbitrary reason to set a goal or make a resolution. Goll. It appalls me sometimes to acknowledge how cynical I have been at times in my life.
I was thinking about this this other day (tangent coming, just for fair warning--as if one hasn't already come to expect them from me). I always thought that people got naturally more jaded, closed-off, narrow-minded, and set-in-their-ways as they got older. I think I was headed down that path. But something switched in me in recent years. I think if I had to put my finger on it I might say it had to do with becoming a mother. I don't know how one begot the other, but I just feel I am much more accepting of people's varying life choices than I ever was before. I am slower to feel shock or disbelief when presented with a lifestyle significantly disparate from my own. And I'm also open to things as I never was before: music genres I used to poo-poo, cheesy self-help gurus and--in that same vein--new age concepts, corny jokes, theme parties, videos featuring animal mishaps or silly kids...just so many things I used to somehow imagine myself to be too cool for before.
Anyway, I can finally identify and admit that the real reason I never made NYRs was that I didn't believe I'd ever be able to keep them. Hey, I've committed more than my fair share of stops-and-starts. Easy solution: don't make them, then quietly dismiss all the people who were foolish enough to believe they'd stick to theirs. Brilliant!
But something occurred to me the other day: I became a vegetarian in January of 2003. If you never heard the story behind that decision, you might assume it was a NYR. It wasn't, but it it did stick like I'd hope a resolution might. I mean c'mon...that was almost 9 years ago!
And then, of course, there's the GGA. Knowing myself and my track record, I mentally gave myself about 4 months, tops, on this project. At the four-month mark, there were few enough people reading it (as opposed to the HANDFULS of people who are reading it now :P) that I might not have even felt that bad dropping it altogether. And hey! I had well fleshed out excuses ready to go--legal matters and work and, the ultimate trump card: Motherhood. And yet here we are, 5 days to go and I feel pretty comfortable declaring this goal a success. I mean I don't want to get too far ahead of myself here, but I'm sayin' I never dreamed I'd keep it up this long. Granted, many, many days have been less-than-thrilling, but I've forgiven myself any shortcomings and have decided to focus on the days I felt taught me a lesson or enriched my year in any way, of which there are many.
The point I'm trying to make here is that I've now, finally, got a couple of examples of times in my life when I did see a goal through, at least for a significant period of time. And so, fresh on the heels of that realization, I've decided to take my inkling of a desire to start the new year off with a goal in mind and run with it. So much so that I'm starting the new year early, at least in this respect.
Today's New Activity: New Year's Resolving (Three Weeks Early)
I think part of what's intimidating to me about NYRs is that they start on this auspicious date and therefor get built up in my mind. In fact I would venture that part of the credit for my sticking with vegetarianism and the GGA Project was that neither had anything to do with NYRs. Yes, they were started around the new year, both, but without the pressure of a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION. It was with this in mind that I decided to embark on my new resolution without waiting for the new year.
I don't want to give it away (not that it's exciting...in fact it's like the opposite of exciting, though I can see getting excited about it in a really nerdy way), partially because I want to discuss it with a friend of mine--as well as my family--first. I'm sure I'll be writing about it somewhat along the way. But the point is, it starts today.
