7.14.2010

You Look Familiar...

I’ve recently discovered the thing that is one thing worse than missing somebody you love.  It’s when the somebody you’re missing is yourself.  And freaky: not even realizing you miss yourself until something—some tiny little glimpse of your former self—peeks through.

For me, one such tiny little something was hearing myself laugh too hard to finish my sentence on a recent, mini road trip with my Mom, Aunt, and 9-month-old baby boy.  We were headed to Arizona—my old stomping grounds—to visit my cousin for her son’s first birthday.  I really can’t believe it to tell it…that me, a person who used to laugh that hard on a semi-daily basis, could not remember the last time it’d happened.

Laughing is just one thing.  It’s just one of many things I used to do often and, for reasons I don’t care to get into here, no longer do much of.  What the hell is that?  How can that happen to a person?  I know now how, and knowing how will help me prevent it from ever happening again.  Like that quote from Maya Angelou goes:  “I did then what I knew how to do.  Now that I know better, I do better.”

And on that note, I am picking up where I left off 3 ½ years ago and beginning to write again.  When I laid my last blog down to sleep back then, I wrote some bologna thing about quitting blogging for the sake of taking up more serious writing efforts.  That would be noble and interesting, if it were true.  But unfortunately it was not.  (Oh, and now—with that admission—I’ve just rendered the narrator unreliable for all future writings…hmmm.)

I really stopped writing my blog because it was easier than the task of remaining true to myself, for the time being.  I’m not trying to be nebulous here, but again I am reluctant to get into the details just yet.  The details are not important anyway (though that is the LAST time you’ll read that from me, especially if we’re talking about writing.  Of course, the details are EVERYthing where storytelling is concerned.  But this is less of a story and more of an introduction, and since few people ever read the introduction anyway, and even those who do figure the shorter the better (let’s get to the real meat!), the fewer details the better).

All by way of saying, welcome to Starts With One, my new blog.  The title was inspired by a video my mom came across when showing kids song videos to my son one day (see video above, right).  I fell in love with this little ditty because 1) the little birdie’s eyes remind me of my son, and 2) what a wonderful message!  “One thousand steps starts with one, you’ve gotta learn to walk before you run.”  That’s how I feel about my road back to reclaiming the person I used to know and used to like.  Writing is a big part of that person, so it’s the first thing I’ve decided to pick back up.

And I am way, way out of practice.  But here it goes: my first step of a thousand, of maybe more. 

Thank you for joining me on the outset of this journey.


P.S.  I saw this quote on my friend Nicole's blog, and it didn't just speak...it sang to me: "There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost."  ~Martha Graham

4 comments:

  1. Kiki ~ I am so proud of you! My heart is singing even as I wipe away the tears. I remember YOU. ~Mamala

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  2. yay, gal! i'm so happy to hear your voice again! :) you have such a gift with words and telling stories--wild, wonderful, sweet, funny, true-to-life, amazing stories. i can't wait to read more!

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  3. Hey mama, I'm happy to see you're doing your special kind of alchemy, turning what happens to you into something precious that we all can learn from and be inspired by. makes me want to write too!

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  4. Welcome, welcome, welcome back to words and feelings, Kisa! I am thrilled to be reading you again...

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